the mood transformation at the end of the week is amazing. i currently have fridays off (but not for much longer) and it's just magnificent. everything & everyone has been stressing me to the point i just want to hit something; but, when friday rolls around & i'm still in my pajamas at 10 in the morning, it's like the heavens have opened up. (long sentence is long.)
i know that i need to go elsewhere and do other things, but i'm stuck in a rut. and it kind of hard to get out of that rut when you have no motivation. i constantly wonder where my motivation and willpower went... it's been years since i've seen either. i miss you, please come back. but, i know the cause. until i take care of that, or get so fed up i can't take it anymore, they're going to stay gone.
when you've been beaten down for so long, it's hard to come back up. when there's no one around cheering you on, you get a little discouraged. surrounded by negativity & psychic vampires. something's gotta give & i'm wondering when.
subject: oh, you don't like anybody
date: 2009-10-09